Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
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