I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
wow bdsm is so cute
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
