yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I wanna passion pit in your ass
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
