Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
i would one night stand the shit outta him
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
pray to the hookup gods
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
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