Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
