Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Randomize
