smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
i dont even know how to be here
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Randomize
