u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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