Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
