I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
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