I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
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