it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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