I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
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