his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
