Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize