took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
