YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I feel like abortions should bother me more
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
Randomize
