id be glad to
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
