I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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