the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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