I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Randomize
