why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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