I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
