its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
