I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
