i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
