we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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