Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
