Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
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