my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
