is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Randomize
