hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Randomize
