i may or may not be watching the land before time
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
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