Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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