I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I supernannyed him into submission
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