she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Randomize
