I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I think a kid would responsible me up
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
