My brain says no but my pants say off.
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
