JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
