i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
