He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
