that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
