Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I'm too high and old for this...
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
