my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
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