: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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