it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Randomize
