So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Randomize