I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
