you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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