drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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