i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
