Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
