how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
