I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
