dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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