no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
the day after is always just damage control
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
