My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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