What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
