Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
