We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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