we have pet lesbian snakes
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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