I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
