I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
