What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
