I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Randomize
