the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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