Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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