Nicole vs. Life
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
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