Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
