return my video game
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Randomize
