Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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