No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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