i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
