I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
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Randomize
