I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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