Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I'm just crazy horny about you
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
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