Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
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