I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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